his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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