Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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