please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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