So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
