i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
