i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
