Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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