she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Holy shit dude........stairs
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
