it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
