the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize