i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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