I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"it" just moved
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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