He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
