PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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