have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
