that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
