Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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