How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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