ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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