I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
