someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
