did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I am available for nakedness
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
