Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
