Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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