we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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