I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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