whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
