Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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