Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
