He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
two words: eviction party
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
