I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
