Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
