STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
