6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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