no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize