we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize