dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
