I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
