the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
