Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
