how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
