Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
