There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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