I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
