So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and she was petting her beer can
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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