Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
