we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize