I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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