I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
