Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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