ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
