I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
