My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
