i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
