At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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