No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
