I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
