The maid of honor just puked.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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