super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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