yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Can I color on your dick again?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
