shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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