would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
