I wish I could punch you in the face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
